Pat the Bat

Matt the Rat


This is Pat. Pat the bat.

Pat the bat is very fat.

Too fat to fly,

he falls down flat.


Pat is one fat bat.

He can’t hang upside down

He drops from the rocks

and lands with a splat.


Pat the bat is also a brat.

Give me this, give me that.

He is not nice or friendly,

he never wants to chat.


Pat the Bat is a fat brat,

and his head is very flat.

It happened when fell,

he landed like that.


Pat does not know he’s a bat.

He’s  thinks he’s a cat.

He wants everyone to give him a pat.

He’ll lick your hand if you hold it like that.


Pat is a very fat bat

who thinks he’s a bratty cat

and has a head that is totally flat.

Pat the bat is NOT where it’s at.





But wait? Is Pat so bad?

Is Pat such a bad bat?

Is he only dumb and fat?

Is Pat the Bat as sad as that?


There is more to Pat the Bat

much more than meets the eye

“Pat the Bat” doesn’t exist.

Pat the Bat is really a spy.


Pat is not a bat,

nor in fact a cat.

Pat the bat is really a rat.

Right, Pat is a rat,

a top secret rat named Matt,

disguised as fat bat

who acts like a brat,

and meows like a cat.


Matt the Rat is not like that.

Matt the Rat is not a fat brat.

Matt the Rat loves to chat.

Matt the Rat is where it’s at!





Matt the rat is skinny as a slat.

He can run, and jump, and slide,

and do great stuff like that.

He has a sleek and furry hide.


He makes jokes when he chats,

others laugh with Matt the rat,

not at him, like poor Pat the bat.

Matt is such a friendly rat.


Matt is very helpful, very kind.

His eyesight is good, he is not blind.

He is noble, strong, and brave too.

If you are in trouble, he will save you.


Matt is saved the world before,

he chewed through the fuse of a bomb.

He didn’t even accept his reward,

he just said “shucks” and scurried on.


Matt the rat is clean and good,

you’d want him in your neighborhood.

He only eats a little cheese,

and only after saying please.





O.K. O.K. You guessed it.

There is no Matt the rat.

There is only Pat the Bat.

He would like to be Matt


He would love to be a cat.

But he is only Pat the bat

who cannot fly, he is to fat.

And that my friends is that.


But things could change

like that for Pat the Bat

he could loose some weight

he could get skinny as a slat


There is exercise, a low fat diet,

maybe pat the bat should try it

if he could loose about a pound

he might just get up off the ground


no one would care  that his head was flat

if he’d stop being such a brat

If he’d only think of others for a change

Pat the bat might not be so strange.


Pat’s really a quite a decent chap

he could surely learn to flap.

Who cares if he thinks he’s a cat?

I’ve thought stranger things than that!





Pat is far from perfect,

but at least he’s trying.

He ate less, lost some weight,

now Pat the bat is flying.


Pat can even hang upside down,

and sleep the day away.

When others see him coming,

“Hello Pat” is what they say.


His head is no longer flat,

since he does not fall like that.

He makes and effort to stop and chat,

and no one thinks he is a brat.


He’s made friends with a shy cat,

a nervous rat, and a tiny gnat.

He treats them with kindness,

does favors, and all that.


Pat the Bat is young, and still growing,

but he’s doing his best, and he’s knowing,

that he’s true to himself, and that is that.

Pat the Bat IS where it’s at!





~ by tjeffcarey on February 5, 2012.

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